She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
