Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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