Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
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