Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
