just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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