i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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