Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
