dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize