we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
