The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
