We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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