no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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