What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I pour the whiskey from now on
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
