just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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