It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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