I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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