We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
its not stalking. its research.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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