he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
