"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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