I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
