the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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