the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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