it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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