She said her name was "party"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
