After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
