That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
