Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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