Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
