i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Found the puke drawer
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
