just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Can you bring me the toilet please
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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