We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
