I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
