# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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