oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
