Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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