Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He felt like a one man threesome
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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