This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
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