Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
