yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
