Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
