so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
