Walk of Shame. In a state park.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Randomize
