whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I wish there were birth control emojis
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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