I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize