oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
