dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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