Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
