that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
