If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
