a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
God, I missed his penis.
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