There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
