I wish my penis had an off switch
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
