Hey man sorry I got all grabby
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
