Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
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