I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
